In My Bed?
by WriteAtNight
Summary: Josh finds Drake asleep in his bed when he gets home from work. D/J Slash. Chapter 3 now up. Chapter1: Josh's thoughts, Chapter2: Drake's thoughts, Chapter3: The day after.
1. In My Bed?

Sleep

**In My Bed?**

**Disclaimer: I sadly still do not own them. **

**Rated: T **

**Summary: Josh finds Drake asleep in his bed when he gets home from work. Some Josh musings about the situation and Drake in general. D/J Slash. **

**A/N: I noticed that every week for the past few weeks I have posted something, and I figured why stop now. This is no longer a One-Shot. Thanks to the reviews and the PM's I have decided to post more. Hopefully within the next couple of days. It is hard for me to write on the weekends w/ things so busy so if I don't get to write it today/tomorrow then it will be Monday I would say before it is posted. Thank you for reading. **

In My Bed?

Josh blinked his eyes and shook his head at what he figured was probably a figment of his imagination. More like a heavenly creature. He looked like an angel that had fallen from heaven and landed in his bed. A beautiful sight that absolutely couldn't be real. He wondered what would happen if he reached out and touched this vision? Would it disappear into his mind again?

He quietly gathered his pajamas and took a shower. Then, he thought, his mind will be clear and whatever drugs he really wasn't on that made him hallucinate like that will be out of his system. Instead of clearing his mind though the steam from the shower seemed to cloud it even more with the thoughts that were swimming in it now.

He sighed and got out. He took his time drying off, getting dressed, and brushing his teeth because if in fact his idea of perfection wasn't just something his mind conjured up after a long night at work and _was_ in fact in his bed then what was he supposed to do.

He walked back into the bedroom quietly to not disturb anything that may or may not be real. He was at his bed and as earlier, he was still there, curled up under _his_ covers.

He froze. He didn't want to move. He didn't know what to do. Should he climb the ladder to the empty bed? Should he go to their couch? Should he wake the sleeping boy and ask him to go to his own bed, or should he just climb into bed?

It wasn't like it was wrong, right? He thought. They were both clothed and one of them was already sleeping. It was _his_ bed after all; _he_ should have the privilege to sleep in it. He did so every night. This night was different though, he reasoned.

If he _did_ and Drake woke up would he get freaked out? Would he think Josh "wanted" him? Josh shook his head and again said to himself that it was _his_ bed.

He figured if he did wake sleeping beauty, sleeping boy up that perhaps sleeping boy would become not so angelic, and he was too tired to deal with a fight.

He decided that if in fact Drake freaked out he would just point out the obvious and state that it was _his_ bed and that if anyone should have been in it, it should have been _him_. He smiled at the boldness in his mind, held his breath, and climbed in softly. He reached over to the table and turned off the dim lamp.

He let out the breath slowly and quietly. He managed to not wake Drake up. He tried to immediately go to sleep to avoid any awkward situations or thoughts but failed.

He turned his head to watch Drake in peaceful slumber wondering what the other boy was dreaming. He wondered what Drake was even doing in his bed to begin with and couldn't wait for the explanation, if he even gave one. Sometimes Drake just did things, no explaining, no thoughts as to why, he just did them.

He resisted the urge to reach his hand out and brush his hair, to touch his face, and he resisted the urge to move closer and hold him. He realized his heart was beating faster and knew he had to pull his eyes away from what he again called perfection.

He figured this would be as close as he would get to Drake and decided to keep it in his memory and smiled.

He again wondered what possessed Drake to be there to begin with and thought of different scenarios. Perhaps Megan pulled some kind of prank forbidding him to sleep in his bed or even their couch. But if that was the case then he could have slept downstairs or even… He shook his head.

He wouldn't put it past Megan though, she always was convincing that you could actually die if you did something she didn't like even if she was going to be the cause of your death, and if that was the case Drake wouldn't have told the parents because they wouldn't have believed him anyway.

Or maybe he had something really important to tell him about the band or something and was waiting for him to get home and just sort of fell asleep. That would have been believable if Drake had been on top of the covers instead of under them all like he was cocooning himself into a long-term hibernation.

Maybe he came home drunk and passed out. Then again he did have pajamas on and was under the covers so he had to at sometime put the pajamas on. Besides, he didn't smell like alcohol. No he smelled like perfection, if perfection was a fragrance, Josh thought.

He rolled his eyes at just how many times he referred to his stepbrother as perfection tonight (and most of the time in his mind) and was surprised and impressed actually that he never did it out loud. He thinks though that his brain knows how that could destroy him and keeps it safe for him.

He does think that though, a lot. That is how he sees and has pretty much always seen him. Nobody is as good as him. Nobody could ever, as they say, hold a candle to him. His hair, his body, his charm, his voice, even his mind, though he seldom used it unless it was about music or something.

Everything about him was perfect, even though people said there was no such thing. He would smile at them, yes they called him naïve, but he didn't care. Perfection, though it did exist, was untouchable, unless in a quick hug or kiss on the cheek out of gratitude or excitement (and once in an Oprah induced frenzy, on the lips) But other than a brotherly touch, perfection was untouchable… at least tonight _though_ it was within reach.

He barely audibly sighed as his mind wound down and he started slowly falling… to sleep this time. As he reached the state between consciousness and unconsciousness he felt or at least his mind let him think he felt a small soft kiss on his cheek. That thought, if only a thought was enough to put a smile on his face as he fell into the most peaceful sleep he had in a long time.


	2. In His Bed

**In My Bed? Chapter 2: In His Bed **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Drake & Josh or even Drake OR Josh. Sad sad world. I am not making a profit. Just enjoying some creative time, but could you imagine episodes like this. Ah, yes, that would be great. **

**Rated: T**

**Summary: Drake's thoughts about him being in Josh's bed and the situation. **

**A/N: I have already started chapter 3. Chapter 3 should be the last one. It's nice to have both of their thoughts and then you know we have to have the whole aftermath. What happens the next day?? Find out in Chapter 3. Enjoy Drake, or well, his thoughts in this fic anyway.**

--

In His Bed

Drake woke up to darkness. He figured it was probably about 4 am or so considering his inward alarm clock woke him up several nights about this time.

He quickly closed his eyes again so he wouldn't be obvious to being awake in case Josh woke up. He knew immediately he was in Josh's bed because well that's where he went when he got home last night.

So it wasn't exactly a hug, Drake thought, but at least wrapped up in his covers surrounded him with Josh's scent plus the covers would substitute for the warmth of his embrace. It was what he needed after last night. It was horribly wrong.

He couldn't believe how wrong things had gone because he was Drake and things like that didn't happen to Drake. He knew everyone had their share of accidents and embarrassing moments but not like last night, and at least not him.

He knew Josh would be at work and was fine with that because he just needed Josh without Josh. He knew it didn't make sense but to him he knew what it meant. He didn't want to talk about it but needed some comfort.

He knew how Josh sometimes looked at him like he could do no wrong or something, or at least where music was concerned, and if he told Josh then Josh would think differently of him, he knew that… or thought that anyway.

"You're always great Drake, always" Josh would always tell him, "You're so talented. You're the best". As Drake lay awake he thought about that. All that Josh said about him being so great. He believed him most of the time because his ego was that of the size of perhaps the Grand Canyon or Mount Rushmore or the Great Pyramid or something else really huge.

He was afraid for Josh to know of his fall from grace. He didn't want to see the disappointment in Josh's eyes because if there was one thing that affected him more than anything, was those eyes. He knew every word Josh had to say with those eyes.

Drake loved those eyes and hated when he knew he was the cause of them to change from a beautiful star like sparkle to a dim dull night light, and not the pretty one's either… more like the ones in the hospital all sanitary and boring.

Drake shook his head to push those thoughts out of his mind. He decided to get up and go to the restroom. After all, as embarrassing as last night was he knew if he reduced himself to a child wetting the bed, no, _Josh's_ bed he might as well end his existence on earth.

He softly and quietly moved and tiptoed out of the room gently closing the door and made his way into the bathroom.

He wasn't sure what to do after that. Did he go back to the warm comfort he had been in all night where the one constant in his life was only inches away? Was he supposed to go to the cold unslept in bed known as his own? Then he asked the question that he didn't really want to answer… did he even want to?

He sighed. Where did that come from? He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "Push it away, push it away," he chanted in his mind. He decided that since he was already going to be "in trouble" or something by Josh for being there in the first place he might as well finish the night out. After all, the spot he had been sleeping in hadn't had time to get cold yet. He decided to brush his teeth and use mouthwash before returning. It wasn't like he was planning on kissing Josh or anything but he figured it was something he should do, to have mint fresh breath in someone else's bed, like a respect thing. He knew it made no sense but he went with it anyway, a lot of things this early didn't make sense, the main one being when you decide to get _back_ in bed with your stepbrother knowing you probably shouldn't have been there in the first place.

He entered the room and the bed the same way he left. He looked over at Josh sleeping peacefully. He couldn't help but smile. Josh usually worried about so much when he was awake, like college, school, doing the right thing all the time, making wrong impressions, and just making mistakes in general. It was nice to see him sleep and escape the worries that consumed his mind.

There's nothing wrong with this, sleeping with Josh, or in bed with Josh rather, Drake thought. Nothing is happening, you know, like _that_, or whatever. No, they were just two best friends. He conveniently left out the whole stepbrother thought, and well if they were girls nobody would even think twice, which made him wonder why it was different with boys.

Was it because boys had "evidence" girls didn't in case they enjoyed it more than they should? He smiled at the thought that _that_ was an intelligent thought and how Josh would be proud of him for it, if only he could tell Josh, which he can't because really what would Josh say if he told him his theory of two boys sleeping together and one of them becoming aroused and it being noticeable… well it could've happened yesterday and Josh would have just smiled like he had came up with one of those smart people's theories, but not today. Today he would freak out about it.

So why wasn't _he_, he thought. Oh yeah, because it doesn't mean anything. Just friends sleeping in the same bed. Okay fine, stepbrothers, he admitted after all, which is why they have so much access to each other.

He closed his eyes tightly and tried to will the thought out of his mind that came next… if they were to, well, he tried to think politely since he was in Josh's bed and Josh probably didn't even have thoughts like this _at all_, but if they were to be "involved" it would be so easy because he could be in this bed every night and nobody would even notice, that would be kind of cool, he smiled, until he realized he smiled and so he mentally added, "you know if we were, like that… which we're not," he carefully noted even if only to himself.

He looked at Josh again to add another point. Well, if he _was_ going to date a guy he could _definitely_ do worse than Josh. He saw the way Josh had been with Mindy (and thanked God that they broke up yet again and hoped it would stay that way because he hated Mindy, and really it had nothing to do with trying to get him expelled). He shook his head again. Sure it did. He hated Mindy because of trying to get him expelled, that's it, that's all anyone needed to know and him to admit to himself.

"Anyway," he sighed trying to get his train of thought back. "Oh yeah," he remembered. He figured Josh would be one of those attentive boyfriends or something, always smiling and asking how you are and probably even buying you things. He would be the type to make you feel better even when you didn't realize you were feeling down, he just had that way… or would, Drake thought, you know, if he was your boyfriend.

And well let's face it. Josh looked good. Drake knew of course he would still be the "pretty one" as people say. Josh would just look at it like a prize that he won, if he thought that way too, you know, if he was his boyfriend. He at least _thought_ Josh probably would because of the way Josh looked at him _now_ and talked about him. So he at least thought Josh would feel lucky too. He hoped…

"Wait, what?" he thought. No there was no hoping in this random thought at like four in the morning as he lay awake in his stepbrother's warm comfortable bed with him only inches away. Right? No hoping just thinking.

Drake then wondered what kind of boyfriend _he_ would be. He was pretty shallow with girls and thought he was hotter than them and a bit jealous and competitive if he found one hotter than him, and he really didn't like commitments with them either, but he wondered if he would be different with a guy, different with Josh, given their history already.

His eyes widened as he realized he moved a little closer to Josh and decided he needed to stop thinking and remembered the whole evidence theory he came up with earlier. He decided to stop with these thoughts because of what could happen if he continued them since for some reason his hands started becoming sweaty and his heart rate was speeding up at the mention, or thought anyway, of them becoming each others boyfriend.

He then thought about when Josh came home last night. He was surprised that Josh didn't freak out on him for being in his bed to begin with. He figured he would yell at him for invading his personal space, something so private because after all you can't get more private than a man's underwear or bed. At least that's what he figured Josh would say. Instead he apparently did everything to avoid waking him up. He was sweet like that, even when he had every right to be upset. He couldn't tell if Josh was mad with the looks he was giving him because he couldn't see him. He wasn't about to tell Josh that he woke up, not with Josh staring at him. He could feel the stares though.

He thought maybe the reason Josh didn't freak out is because he was asleep and just didn't want to yell like that. Maybe he was just going to wait until tomorrow, which is now today.

Drake silently smirked thinking that of all the things he has ever gotten himself into that this perhaps is the most unusual. Oh yeah, it definitely was. If only it was a school night too because if it was then when they woke up he could rush to school and avoid Josh, but instead it was a weekend, to which he was also thankful for in a way because it would prolong Josh from finding out what made him sleep in his bed in the first place, unless he caved… which he didn't plan on doing.

As he drifted back off to sleep he realized he never did move back away from Josh but decided in his semi unconscious state that he was way to comfortable to move again, After all, he needed as much sleep as possible to deal with the aftermath of the night, the whole night, regardless how Josh was going to react and if Josh was going to react badly it wouldn't make it any worse that he was a few inches closer than he was when Josh came to bed.

His dream took him to a peaceful state of mind away from what could be considered to some, most people to be an awkward and perhaps inappropriate situation.

--

See you in Chapter 3.


	3. What Happens In Bed

**In My Bed Chapter 3: What Happens In Bed...  
**

**Disclaimer: Do I have to remind you that I don't own them, well I didn't think so either but just in case someone has amnesia I really don't own them. **

**Rated T: A couple of "hell's"**

**Summary: The day after. **

**A/N: I am so sorry this has taken so long. I try not to do that but I got extremely sick and couldn't even write. Anyway, I do hope you like. I'm still not all the way well but I wanted to do this for you all. I appreciate every one of your reviews, messages, and alerts. This, chapter 3 is dedicated to all of you for your support and patience. Meet me at the bottom for a final Author's Note and please enjoy this 7329 word chapter. Also, since I have been sick I tried to fix all errors that I saw but might have missed some so feel free to let me know if you see any.**

--

What Happens In Bed…

When Drake woke up again it was clearly morning, sun and all. He noticed he was alone and took a sigh of relief.

When he went downstairs he became suddenly very paranoid when he saw Audrey smile as he walked into the kitchen. He wondered if maybe Josh told her what happened, or didn't happen, or wait… what was this thought? Yeah, he was paranoid.

"Oh good, I was just going to see if you wanted to eat with us," She said and he hoped that Josh would have stopped her if she had started up the stairs.

"Cool, I'm here," Drake said "Morning Josh".

"Good morning. Sleep well," he smiled.

Smiled… Josh smiled, Drake thought. "Yeah," he shrugged "You?"

"Yeah," Josh said casually.

Drake figured Josh was just saving the freak out for later. Maybe when they were in their room and alone. Where they had privacy. Alone in their room, like last night. Drake's mind started racing. "Thoughts of last night, bad night, Josh, bed, warm, sleep, pee, thoughts, bed, more thoughts, closer, heart rate increasing, boyfriend, eyes, stepbrothers, best friends, going back, not away, sweaty hands, boyfriend, secret thoughts, evidence… wait what? Evidence? Oh God, what the hell is going on,"

"Are you there? For the millionth time Drake," Audrey said.

"Sorry, what?" he asked.

"Uh, how many pancakes did you want? Did you not hear me? I asked what like three times I guess," she said.

Drake started taking a drink of his orange juice.

"Yeah, I mean you were like staring at Josh. What's the matter are you in love with him or something," Megan laughed.

Said orange juice then ejected from his mouth like a scene from the exorcist or something, as he shouted "_What_?" "Sorry," he said about the mess. He could only imagine after this how much worse the day would be especially with the eruption of Mount St. Josh. He couldn't open his mouth again to defend himself. He was about to panic. He wanted to tell her she was wrong and he would if he could just open his mouth again, but he couldn't.

"Uh, Megan," Josh said calmly taking some paper towels and wiping himself and the table off, dismissing the fact of saying anything about the orange juice shower he had seconds ago "you know he's not a morning person, besides staring into space is one of his specialties anyway. He's just not there right now," he joked trying to take the pressure off of his stepbrother.

Nobody knew what happened last night and nobody needed to, after all, nothing _did_ happen last night, Josh thought. Unless you want to call Drake sleeping in his bed nothing and him waking up with Drake being just a _couple_ inches away from him nothing. Yeah, nothing happened.

"True," Megan laughed.

--

Josh had to work early that day. He had to open which gave him the night off. Helen hired a new girl and wanted Josh to help train her, so it made him feel excited getting some added responsibility. Today was a good day. A good day after a very good night, even though he still had no idea the cause behind it. He would find out though, he decided, tonight, even if he had to bribe Drake with a ton of junk food and toys to do it.

Drake wanted to go somewhere to clear his head. He figured the last place he needed to be was in their bedroom, even if he wouldn't go to Josh's bed he would still be in the room, but he didn't want to go out because what if people found out what happened last night. It was possible most people didn't notice and well, most everybody was drunk including the band. Well they weren't drunk, but had been drinking so he could easily convince them that they were drunk and just hearing things, or not hearing things, or something.

He threw his head back on the couch. If only he was perfect. That had to be nice right, to be perfect. No mistakes, no wrong moves, nothing, just perfect. Everything right. Nothing to happen that would draw you to your stepbrother's bed, your best friends bed. Nothing drawing you _back_ to his bed. Nothing moving you closer to him. No, nothing. Just perfect. Things going right all the time.

No need to have those times where those eyes would look at you so bright and that voice would tell you how great you were because everything was always great. No need to praise. No need to make an issue of it. None, because it was always perfect so it didn't have to be discussed.

Nothing to make them disappear either, when you did something wrong. Nothing you would do would hurt them, because you were perfect. He laughed at the thought of the commercial where people lived in perfect. That is how he wanted it because if that was true and he was perfect, then last night wouldn't have happened and this morning wouldn't have happened.

His phone beeped with a text message. Message from Josh "_This girl is driving me crazy so if I act like Crazy Steve when I get home remember to tell the psychiatric hospital what happened okay_".

Drake laughed. It seemed that Josh was fine with what happened last night, so far anyway, but maybe he was just trying to put it off until tonight, or maybe somebody had gone to the Premiere and told Josh what happened and he was doing what he always did, trying to make him feel better. He decided he wasn't going to mention anything. Instead he just replied "_Yeah sure thing, want me to have them pick you up now_?" He hit send.

A few minutes later he had another one that said "_Yes please, this place is insane today.. Why do I do this again_?"

He laughed at the message and typed back "_Well Josh, you did ask for it remember_,"

He loved that today didn't seem too weird, yet, at least. He wasn't really surprised when he heard his phone beep again to find another message from Josh. "_Yeah, but I ask for a lot of things that I don't get… Then again, I get some things I don't ask for too :)_."

What? He read that again. What did it mean? Did it have something to do with last night? With this morning? Was he teasing him about the orange juice, was he talking about him sleeping with him… no, uh, sleeping in his bed. Was Josh like hitting on him somehow?? No, okay, yeah, he was going crazy. He thought both of them were. He wasn't sure how to reply to that.

He wanted to be in one of those do over movies when it hit him… even if he was in one, he still would have done it. He didn't have anywhere else to go last night. Nobody he felt comfortable talking to and really he didn't even talk to Josh.

He realized he hadn't replied to Josh's message yet and it started freaking him out. He had to say something and quick because he didn't want Josh to think he was thinking things he shouldn't have been thinking about. "_I know the feeling man,_" he typed. That would work. He hit send yet again.

When he heard the phone beep again it made him jump. He was hoping that was the end of it. He checked and yes another message from Josh "_So, what are you doing tonight_?" it said.

He replied "_Nothing tonight, why_?"

Josh sent back "_I want to talk to you"._

Drake banged his head repeatedly on the back of their couch even though it really didn't hurt. He cursed in his head. He really hoped that he would get out of this. He replied though "_Sure, no problem,_"

Well now he had something to (not) look forward to tonight. But at least it was Josh he was talking to and not countless other people talking about what happened last night. All he had to do was wait. He remembered Josh saying he should get off about 6 tonight. He hoped the rest of the day went good for Josh because if not this would be more unpleasant than it was going to be anyway.

--

Josh got home a little after 7 which was a bit later than he anticipated but after all he was going to pull out all stops to find out what was going on with Drake to possess him to do what he did last night, not that he would complain if he did it more often, say every night or anything but still, there had to be a reason and he was sure it wasn't the one he was hoping for.

He looked around at the empty house and was glad Megan had a sleepover and one of her friends and their parents had plans with a couple they knew and would be out till late. This gave them total privacy, not that they needed it or anything.

When he walked in their room he saw Drake in his bed (his own bed). "Whatcha doing up there?" he asked.

Drake looked at him "Uh, well, this is my bed, I usually am up here," "Except last night," went unspoken.

Josh laughed "I know that but why are you up in your bed at like 7. You knew I would be here soon I figured you would be (_in my bed_) on the couch watching TV or something," he said.

"Yeah, sorry, I guess I wasn't paying attention," Drake told him. Yeah it was going good so far, Drake thought as he rolled his eyes to himself. "What do you have there?" he asked Josh.

"Well this, in this box, in case you didn't know, is what the Italians call pizza. It has cheese, sauce, pepperoni, sausage…" Josh said.

"Yeah I know that much, what about the bags," Drake interrupted.

Josh smiled "Well, that is for me to know and you to find out. Right now we need to eat. I know you don't feed yourself very well when you are alone," Josh laughed.

"Everybody's gone?" Drake asked.

"Drake, where have you been all day? Don't you remember mom saying this morning that she and dad had plans until late this evening and Megan talked about her sleepover," Josh said.

Drake really wanted to die now. How did he miss all of that this morning? He knew he was in deep thought for some of it but didn't realize he missed everything his entire family was doing. Well everyone but Josh, he remembered what he had to say. Drake shook his head "Yeah I have no idea," is all he could come up with.

He climbed down the ladder and figured he would try to amuse Josh by eating "what the Italians call pizza" even though he would rather just do what he felt like doing and that was what he called "throwing up".

He ate anyway, and they talked, laughed, and joked. So far so good he thought. Just a regular night.

"Well," Josh said and looked at Drake, which made Drake almost freak out. This had to be it, he thought. "I'm going to take a shower. Enjoy while I'm gone," he said and handed Drake the bags.

Drake looked inside them and found a variety of junk food and small toys, which in his mind was better than Christmas. He looked at Josh and saw him smiling at him and smiled back. "All for me?" He asked.

"All for you? Of course all for you. Who else would it be for? Like I said, enjoy. I'll be back soon," Josh said.

Drake searched through the bags at all Josh bought for him. "See, I knew he would buy me things," he thought and then shook his head. Josh always did nice things for him so this was no different.

--

"Do you like your presents," Josh asked when he came back in.

"Yeah man, thanks," Drake smiled.

"No problem," Josh smiled back.

Josh sat back down on the couch where Drake was. He really wanted to talk to him but was starting to lose his nerve. He sighed.

Drake took note of the sigh and decided he could prolong this for a few more minutes "Uh, well, since you're out I guess I'll take my shower now," he said.

"Okay," Josh said shaking his head.

The disadvantage of taking a shower directly after another person, Drake thought, was that you could only be in there so long before the water turned cold. Then again, giving all of the weird circumstances, that might be a good thing.

He knew Josh wanted to talk to him and he knew he would have to do it and he also knew it wouldn't take much. It wasn't about the bags of junk food and toys though, no, it was when he looked at him. He didn't want to cave. He knew Josh would ask why he was in his bed and he wanted to tell him, "because I wanted to", obviously said in his cocky Drake voice, but no, he knew he couldn't. He knew he couldn't because when those eyes looked at him and that voice, that "oh my God make my eyes roll in the back of my head" voice that Josh had he knew he would cave. As a matter of fact he was making a bet with himself at that very moment to see just how long it would take and since he was betting himself he at least knew he would win something tonight… maybe though, he would win something else.

He banged his head against the shower tiles a few times as he tried to bang that thought out of his mind. This was his own fault. If he hadn't have slept in that bed last night… if he just wouldn't have done that, then these thoughts would not be in his mind.

That would be true if that had been the first time he had them. If it had been the first time to admit that Josh's eyes affected him more than anything else and that Josh being disappointed in him was something he couldn't handle. Yes, it would be true if he hadn't thought those things before, say every time he disappointed Josh, every time he saw the sparkle leave, every time it made his heart drop into the bottom of his stomach.

--

As much as Josh wanted to talk to Drake he was actually glad he took a shower because it prolonged the answer to the question of why he was in his bed. As much as he would like the answer to be something along the lines of "because I need you, remember," or perhaps "I love you," yeah something like that, in reality he knew there would be a real explanation. One that would break his heart. It was okay though because his heart often was broken because of Drake.

Most of the time he wore his feelings on his sleeve but recently he had gotten better to some extent because even though the sight of Drake kissing girls killed him inside he never let that show.

He wondered though since they were going to be talking and it just being the two of them if he would be transparent. That would make it worse too because then Drake would think the reason he climbed in bed _with_ him was because he wanted him.

Even though he did, he wouldn't have tried to force anything in Drake's unconscious state or anytime really. He always tried to protect those feelings. He had a feeling if Drake ever found out when he said I love you to him that he really did love him love him that it wouldn't go over so well.

He sometimes wished Drake was the one with the feelings. He thinks Drake could handle it better than him. And he would be oblivious so it wouldn't hurt. It also made him smile to think of Drake as the one with the not so brotherly love. Deep down other than the fact that Drake liked girls so much, probably too much, he also knew that if he would ever be with a guy it certainly wouldn't be _him_.

The slam of the door startled him back into reality. He was sure he jumped. Yeah, how manly he thought, case and point proved right then.

Drake sat back down on the couch. "So," he said.

"So," Josh said back.

So far so good they both thought sarcastically.

"Drake,"

"Josh," They said at the same time.

"I'm sorry, go ahead," Drake said.

"No, you go," Josh told him.

Both of them were trying to find out what was on the other one's mind.

"No, you are the one that wanted to talk to me," Drake said. Please don't look at me. Please don't look at me, he thought. Drake tried to look down on the couch like he was interested in the empty spot that his "presents" were that Josh put away while he was showering.

"I can't talk to you if you don't look at me," Josh said "it makes me feel like you aren't listening".

"I'm listening," Drake said. In his mind he added, It's just I can't look at you especially after this morning because your eyes will be so comforting now but then when I tell you what you are going to ask me to tell you they will change and I can't handle that.

"Drake, look at me," Josh said "Please," he lowered the tone to what Drake referred to as his "oh my God" voice that made him want to say things he shouldn't want to say.

"I can't Josh," Drake hissed. He hated to sound like that but he didn't want to go into every aspect of his life.

"What?" Josh asked. Great, he thought. He knows. He figured it out. He's weird around me now. He hates me. He's uncomfortable. I'm going to have to move.

"I just can't okay. Just please. You wanted to talk to me so talk but I can't look at you," Drake said knowing it still made no sense. He glanced up though and it hit him. He was such a screw up because he saw that Josh was contemplating the reason he couldn't look at him and he knew Josh was going to be upset. He probably figured it out. He figured it out and was upset that is why he was looking like that. Josh was always the smart one so he figured it out. How could he not. He was so observant. He had to think quick. Might as well be honest… or at least somewhat, he thought "I'm really embarrassed okay, so it is hard to look at you".

"Oh," Josh said and Drake was almost sure he saw Josh smile a little and thought a smile was better than the whole dim eye thing. "Well hang on," Josh added.

He got up and Drake wondered what he was doing. Josh turned their light off and turned the dim lamp on beside his bed. Now he figured Drake would be able to look at him, even if they couldn't see each other that well.

He sat down on the couch again. "So what happened?" Josh asked.

"What? What do you mean?" Drake asked.

"Come on Drake. Something's obviously going on, so what is it?"

"I don't know Josh," Drake said. He rolled his eyes at himself. Yeah that makes sense, he thought.

"Drake, come on. You've never slept in my bed before so what's going on?" Josh asked again.

"That's not true," Drake said avoiding the subject.

"What?" he said.

"That's not true. I have slept in your bed before," Drake said.

"When?" Josh said.

"Don't you remember?" Drake asked and then really felt stupid. Of course, why would he keep that in his memory as if he memorized every moment of his life "When I was sick. I couldn't stop throwing up. Remember, you told me to lay in your bed because it was easier to get from your bed to the bathroom, and then you also brought a bowl in case I couldn't make it," Drake reminded him.

Josh smiled. He wanted to reach out and touch Drake's face at that memory. Of course he remembered. He hated to deal with anybody's vomiting bodily functions but wanted to help Drake. He remembered how pale Drake looked and considering his natural skin tone, he looked like a ghost when he was sick. "I remember," He said in a voice barely above a whisper. "So, were you sick last night? Are you okay now? Did the pizza make you worse?" Josh asked concerned.

"No, Josh," Drake said and then smiled at the way he was asking about him. Just like his thoughts about how attentive Josh would be as his, a , boyfriend.

Josh saw Drake smile. He really wished he wouldn't do that. He is afraid one of these days he is going to actually tell him how perfect he looks and knows if that happens he will probably officially die, just die, of embarrassment and rejection.

"Okay, so what happened?" Josh asked.

"I, to be honest Josh, I really don't want to say," Drake said and Josh's smile faded. He cursed in his mind and reminded himself this is how Josh was supposed to act if he _did_ tell him. "But not because I don't trust you. I do trust you, you know".

"Then tell me. Drake seriously, we have to talk about this. It's not like you are in my bed every night," Josh said and neglected to add verbally "even though I wouldn't mind". He hated his heart rate sped up a little.

"I know, I just needed it last night," Drake said.

"What do you mean?" Josh asked.

"I don't know. I mean, it, last night, was just bad and wrong and when I got here I went to where I felt most safe and comfortable at and well, sorry. I should've got up before you got here and…" Drake said.

"Wait, my bed made you feel safe and comfortable," Josh said and inwardly was loving it. Drake needed his bed, so he didn't say he needed him but his bed was an extension of him right, he reasoned with himself.

Oh God, Drake thought. This was much harder than he thought. "Yeah, I guess, you know". He realized he probably should have went ahead and used his cocky excuse.

"It is a comfortable bed," Josh chuckled. He could tell Drake was nervous. "So what happened, to make you come to my bed in the first place?"

"I already told you I don't really want to tell you, it's too embarrassing," Drake said.

"You can tell me Drake please," Josh said.

Drake looked at him. There are those eyes. And again with the voice. Drake wondered if he kissed him if it would shut him up.

Josh hated when Drake looked all perfect like that. He wondered if he kissed him if he would get him to talk.

"You know you can trust me Drake, with anything," Josh told him.

"Josh you know sometimes there's just so much pressure, you know," Drake said.

"I know Drake," Josh said.

"No, but Josh, it's just I can't tell you because there is so much pressure from you, sort of," Drake said.

"What? Pressure from me? How do I put pressure on you? And if I in _fact_ put pressure on you then what were _you_ doing in _my_ bed?" Josh asked loudly.

Drake put his hand on his forehead for a minute. Screw up. He was always a screw up. And here is another time. Here is Josh now freaking out _not_ over sleeping together, or well whatever, but over him telling him that he puts pressure on him. He didn't mean it like that. He just meant he didn't want to disappoint him. He hated that. He hated that he messed up with Josh so much. He knew then that he would be a horrible boyfriend and then shook his head because he shouldn't be thinking that right now… or ever.

"No Josh, I mean…" drake said.

"No Drake," Josh interrupted "I come home to find you sleeping in _my_ bed looking all freaking angelic and crap and then you tell me that either you can't tell me why you were there because I put pressure on your _or_ the _reason_ you were there is _because_ I put pressure on you to which _both_ confuse the hell out of _me_," Josh said.

"Josh, just," Drake paused. Did he just call me angelic, he thought to himself.

"_My_ bed Drake, you were in _my_ bed and now you won't even tell me why?" Josh shouted.

"And welcome to Mount St. Josh," Drake shouted back.

"What?" Josh said.

"I knew you would do this. I knew you would act like this. Why didn't you last night? Huh? Why didn't you wake me up?" Drake said trying to turn the tables a little bit.

"Because… Because…" Josh said. Because I didn't want you to leave. Because I wanted you close to me_,_ is what he wanted to say, instead though he said in a lowered voice "you looked peaceful and well I figured if you were there you had a good reason".

"I had a good reason," Drake nodded "I had a good reason".

"Yeah because I put pressure on you. It's my fault somehow that you were in my bed," Josh said. He got up and went to his bed. He wanted to talk to Drake tonight. He knew that Drake wasn't in his bed because of feelings he couldn't fight anymore but he at least hoped he would get some kind of answer and not the one that went "you put so much pressure on me". He didn't want to put pressure on Drake. He wasn't even sure what he was talking about. He loved Drake; he would never want to put pressure on him.

Then he wondered if maybe some of his feelings came out in his sleep. What if he really tried to hold him or kiss him, or worse? Talk about pressure, he could see that. Maybe that's what Drake was talking about. Maybe the reason he couldn't tell him why he was in his bed is because he tried to "hit on him" in his sleep.

Drake walked over to Josh's bed. "Josh," he said.

Josh looked up at him horrified "Did I like try to hit on you or touch you or something in my sleep? I mean I'm sorry if I did and you think I was trying to pressure you but please know that if I did I was just asleep and wasn't trying to…"

"No Josh, nothing like that. You didn't touch me or anything last night. Honest that's not it. You didn't do anything wrong," Drake told him. Then he wondered why Josh even asked that. Maybe Josh had the whole evidence theory before him, but he doubted that since Josh didn't think like that. He really doubted anyone did, or at least about their stepbrother.

"Okay, then what is it?" Josh asked.

"Can I?" Drake pointed to the bed.

"Didn't stop you last night?" Josh smiled.

"True," Drake leaned back on the bed beside Josh.

The both realized it didn't seem weird and it really didn't seem weird to either one of them last night. A little unusual, a little different, but not weird.

"Okay, well, so you are where you were safe and comfortable last night right? What you needed or whatever, so tell me Drake how do I put pressure on you," Josh asked.

"Josh that's not why I was here. I didn't mean _that_. I meant that you know, you don't realize it and you don't try to or mean to and I love it so much when you're proud of me and you look at me and tell me that I am great and I'm the best and then when something happens like last night… it's like I failed you or something and if you knew you would look at me different and not tell me that anymore," Drake said.

"I could never look at you any different Drake, you've got to believe that. I lo… love that you're so talented. I mean as perfect as _I _think you are I know that in reality nobody is really perfect but it doesn't stop you from being perfect to me anyway," Josh said. He shook his head. He couldn't believe that he just said it. He wanted to take it back but didn't at the same time. He hated his brain for finally telling his secret. He was the one embarrassed now, Drake shouldn't be.

Perfect? He just called me perfect, Drake thought. He did say he couldn't look at him different. "Uh," Drake said. He was stunned. He licked his lips and he was sure his pulse sped up to something that only a marathon runner could experience. His breathing increased a little to and he hoped that Josh couldn't tell because if Josh knew the thoughts going on in his mind last night and how he was feeling now he would tell him to leave immediately and it would ruin the perfect image for sure.

"Drake," Josh said. "I didn't meant to… I just, I…" Josh sighed.

"I screwed up Josh, okay. I just really messed up last night," Drake confessed.

"How?" Josh asked, wanting nothing more than to comfort his stepbrother at this point and time, so he casually moved a little closer hoping it wouldn't freak him out. He just knew for Drake to admit this to him after saying the rest of what he said to him that he just wanted to show him it really wouldn't change his opinion about him because really nothing Drake could do could make Josh think he was less than perfect. It was a curse really, but one Josh wouldn't change for anything.

Drake noticed that Josh moved closer and instead of it freaking him out even just a little it made him feel even more safe so he decided to do the same thing. Josh's bed may have comforted him last night but tonight Josh would be doing it. He knew only Josh could get him to cave and well, he was. "I never mess up. You know, I mean I always mess up but not with my music, well until last night. I mean okay you know we played at that one girl's birthday party right, remember?" Drake asked.

"Yeah. I had to work sorry I couldn't be there with you," Josh nodded.

"I'm glad you weren't," Drake said.

Josh looked at him.

"No, not like that, just be glad you weren't. I wouldn't want you to see it. Telling you is hard enough," Drake said. Josh looked at him and blinked. Drake continued, "Well, anyway almost everybody was drunk, thank God for small miracles, and even the band had been drinking,"

Josh frowned.

"Not me, although I wish I had," Drake said, "It would have been less embarrassing. So like I said, most everyone was drunk but it doesn't make it any better. I was singing right, and I can't believe I am going to admit this to you…" he mumbled something Josh couldn't understand.

"What? I didn't hear you?" Josh said. He turned his head again to look at Drake and saw Drake was really affected by whatever happened.

"Josh," Drake closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He couldn't look at Josh when he said it because even though Josh said he couldn't look at him different, he knew he probably would "Josh, I forgot the words to my song," He put his hands over his face.

He expected Josh would probably start laughing and making fun of him maybe because it seemed like something _he_ would do to someone, or worse, he would look at him in a disappointed, disgusted look.

He felt something touch him and knew Josh closed any distance between them. He felt Josh's arm slip under his head. It wasn't some kind of "baby I want you" move, not that Josh would call him baby, even though the thought could turn him on, it was just a hug move, a let me hold you move, one that he got from the covers. He moved over a little closer himself until his head was on Josh's shoulder. He moved his hands down from his face. He couldn't open his eyes though, not yet. He felt Josh's hand brush his bangs to the side of his face.

"It happens Drake, I still bet you were great and I bet nobody noticed," Josh said. He hurt for him. He knew that had to embarrass Drake because well as he always said Drake was perfect, especially when it came to music. He knew every musician out there has forgotten words to their songs. Something distracting them or just a moment, it happened to everyone. He also knew that is why most of them ended up lip-syncing at concerts and live performances.

"Not to me Josh. It has never happened to me. I mean _my_ song. A song that _I_ wrote and that I sing like all the time and there I am in the middle of this party singing and I forgot. My mind just went blank. Not for long even just for a few seconds but I was horrified. I don't do that, I've never done that before" Drake said.

"Shh," Josh whispered and put his other arm over Drake so he was really holding him "it's okay, seriously Drake. It's okay. Nobody probably noticed. If they did just tell them they were drunk or that your band was drunk and they messed you up. It's okay".

"Thank you," Drake whispered while he was trying to maintain consciousness from the feeling of the arms that surrounded him. God he was good, Drake thought. He was the perfect one, not him. Mindy was an idiot. Anybody would be an idiot if they let Josh walk out of their life.

"So that's what brought you to my bed?" Josh asked.

"Yeah, I just, I know this is not going to make sense but I needed you but couldn't tell you so this was the next best thing. It was you but not you," Drake said.

"No I understand that actually," Josh said.

"Really," Drake said a little surprised.

Josh nodded. "Do I really put that much pressure on you though that you can't tell me things," he asked.

"No. I mean not really but you have this look," he couldn't believe he was actually telling him this. "Your eyes and they are all shiny and sparkly when you look at me when I do something right and good but then when I do something wrong or bad they change and they are so sad and dim and I couldn't face that last night. I hate that. It makes me feel horrible to know I can make them change so much," Drake confessed.

"Well look at me now Drake," Josh said and moved the arm that was over Drake so he could move to look at him.

Drake repositioned himself to look at Josh.

"What do you see now? Do you see any hint of disappointment Drake?" Josh asked and smiled slightly.

Drake shook his head and then put it back down on Josh's shoulder. Josh moved his arm back over Drake's stomach.

"So don't worry, okay, I mean sure when you do something on purpose or just something that totally disregards me or whatever I get upset, but nothing like this," Josh told him "you can't disappoint me. I'm too proud of you. I love you too much". He didn't care that he said it. He wasn't trying to say it to make Drake want him or anything. They said they loved each other all the time. This is no different. Drake wouldn't be able to tell by the tone of his voice that he meant it in a way he shouldn't have meant it. Drake never had been able to tell.

"Good. Because I love you too much to want to disappoint you". Drake said. He loved it when they told each other they loved each other. Anytime Josh said anything Drake could tell he meant it. Josh didn't say things he didn't mean. If he said he loved you then he loved you. If he said he was proud of you then he really was.

Drake found Josh's hand that was over him with his hand and put his fingers through his. He was a little surprised that Josh let him but not as surprised as he was when he felt Josh softly kiss the side of his head.

Neither one of them spoke. Both of them, though neither one knew it, were barely able to breathe afraid if they took too deep of a breath the other one would move. They were both enjoying the comfort their touching gave them.

They both realized they were in a place that was so close to breaking the boundaries that if broken would change their lives forever. They couldn't go back. No, if they broke this boundary they couldn't go back. There are no do overs Drake remembered.

He wondered if Josh even considered the potential of what this could lead to. He wondered if Josh knew how hard his heart was beating. He wondered if Josh would hate him if he asked him if he ever thought about them. After all, Josh was the one who put his arms around him, and well, kissed his head.

Boyfriend Josh, this had to be how it would be to have him. It was how he had him now for the most part, except he didn't think they had ever came this close to crossing the final line.

They had crossed several, or so people said "you shouldn't hug so much, you shouldn't be kissing each other, you shouldn't touch all the time". What if "those people" knew what happened last night, even though nothing did, and what if they knew what was happening now? He wished those people would shut up. Whoever they all were. _They_ knew what they were doing and well, if they didn't, he didn't care. They were doing it together regardless.

He figured he could lay like this forever really. He tried to remember a time he felt so safe, so warm, so loved but could only think of one that came close… last night. Last night he felt safe, and warm, not so much loved. Covers couldn't love but as that song said two out of three ain't bad. Now though, now he had love. Even if Josh thought of it as brotherly or best friend or whatever he still had it. To have Josh love you for any reason was reason enough to make you feel you deserved it, even if you didn't really.

--

Josh kept his eyes closed to burn the feeling of Drake actually in his arms, holding his hand in his memory. He could have it forever there. He hoped he never got Alzheimer's to make him forget because this is one thing he wanted to remember forever. The time he touched true perfection and the time perfection touched him back.

Sometimes he cursed the fact that they were stepbrothers but knew deep down that it was the only way Drake would ever have let him in his life. And not only was he in his life now, he actually went to his bed to feel safe and comfortable because he couldn't get it elsewhere.

He knew eventually they would have to move, that they couldn't stay like this forever, as unfair as it was. But for now, for now he wasn't just touching perfection he was holding it, in the safe place he created for him in his arms.

--

Josh woke up and turned his head to the clock and noticed they had fallen asleep. An hour had passed. He turned his head the other way and looked at the boy sleeping on his shoulder surrounded by his arms.

This night went better than he ever thought possible. Of course he could always have the hope that it could have went slightly better but still. They were close, even closer than last night and they neither one were freaked out over sleeping in the same bed together.

So, Drake knew he thought he was perfect. It didn't matter. He didn't seem to mind or over react or even question it. It just didn't matter. He was Josh and Drake was Drake. They were them, just now, they shared a little more of each other. Still no line was crossed. No major one anyway, nothing that couldn't be undone. There was nothing to be undone. Nothing that either one would one day regret. Nothing that would one day break Josh's heart. Nothing that would make him jealous when he saw Drake with yet another girl… well that one wasn't exactly true, but then again it had been true for a long time. Still. He had a part of his brother that nobody else had. He had what Drake needed to feel safe and give him comfort. That was good enough for him.

He knew that he needed to get up and lock the door though just in case anyone came up. It would probably freak the rest of the family out to know they were sleeping together, even though it was just that… just sleeping.

"Drake," he whispered. "Hey sleeping beauty," he smiled and thought maybe he could wake him up with a kiss. He couldn't help it though, the thought was too quick for him.

"Drake come on, wake up for a second," he said a little louder.

"Josh?" Drake said sleepily.

"Yeah, hey, I need to get up and lock the door," Josh told him "so just roll over or something okay".

Drake nodded and rolled. Josh smiled. God it was so hard to not touch him, but he was afraid if he ever made a move like that Drake would bolt and he would never feel safe with him again so he didn't touch him. He _did_ get up and lock the door.

When he walked back to the bed he pulled the covers down except where Drake was laying. He laughed silently wondering how this was going to happen. Drake had barely woken up long enough to say his name and nod. He carefully picked Drake's legs up and Drake moved them a little when he did but it was enough to actually get the covers situated.

He climbed in bed, covered them up, and turned out the light. He wasn't actually sure if this would continue to be an every night situation or not, but he knew that every night that it _did_ happen, happened because Drake wanted it to happen, because after all it was _his_ bed and as he stated last night he _should_ be in it, right??

It seemed kind of natural he thought really, it was easy to go to sleep with Drake beside him and obviously Drake had no problem going to sleep beside _him_. He figured they made each other feel safe. He knew it could possibly cause a situation but they couldn't let it. He would talk to Drake tomorrow and they would make a pact if it was going to happen again. A pact that what happens in bed stays in bed, that way, it doesn't get involved in the other parts of their lives. Just a secret. Just a sort of sanctuary for them to forget the rest of the world and sleep, safely, soundly, securely, and comfortably.

--Fin--

**A/N 2: Well I hope you enjoyed. Here's the deal. If you liked the potential of this story and would like to see a sequel (maybe even just a One-Shot or a bonus chapter 4 even) just send me a PM or review or whatever and let me know. You just can't help but wonder how long it will take for something to spill over into the other parts of their lives or something, or if they can keep their feelings hidden... so many possibilities (and yes I must be feeling better because they are swimming in my brain) not to mention, they're so dang cute. Anyway, I've made it till 3 am getting this ready so I am going to post this now. Thank you again for reading.  
**


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